Words flow from my mouth like water from a fountain...( or so some say )...You in the swamp would know that is true.
My actions since my stokes have been wild and often.
One moment I am flying high ( like I am on speed ) and the next moment...You could not move me with a bull dozer
The doctor says this is part of a brain leaking on a normal brain...Pressure against the rational part of my brain.
I have always been a male with emotion, but since all this, I can cry at anything, and I mean anything....I am driving along and out of the blue start crying un controlably like a 10 year old girl...( for like 30 seconds ) and then stop on a dime, and not know why it happened.
The nice thing about this is that Georgene has wanted to hold my hand ( affection ) has never been her strong suite.
What bothers me is that my sons and her are on me...( like calling me, asking if they can help )...George offered to scatch my back
This worries me...They ( my sons and George ) feel like I am in danger...While ...I...Feel like life as usual.
Most people would not say what I am going to say, because they fear that they will look at them weird, but ever since I was a young lad, about 8 to 10 years of age...I have heard words, and at times felt a hand on my shoulder
There is no pattern to all this, exept it comes at quiet times, or times of distress, and since the strokes, I have not heard it...It's 4 words and only 4 words, at times I feel a hand on my shoulder, at times not...it's a male voice, and it is a voice I would like to hear often.
I don't look at death as a end, but as a begining...Where does that mind set come from ( I have no idea )...It has just always been there.
" It will be OK "...I have heard these words ever since I was a young lad...Not like a voice from outside me, but more like a voice inside me....( the hand on my shoulder...I have no idea )
I have only spoken to Georgene and my Mother about this...George looks at me weird, and my Mother thanks the Lord.
I don't have a religious bone in my body, but ever since I was a young lad, I have felt comfort in the end of my life..( like I do not care )
I am told I should care, if not for me, for my family.
I think I know what they don't know..." It will be OK "
Why am I sharing this?....It's the swamp, a place to share and not be judged...if my sharing helps some one share then it is all good.
I feel weird in all this ( even as a young lad, it felt weird )...are there powers above us all, I would guess so.
I don't look at death as a end, but as a begining...Where does that mind set come from ( I have no idea )...It has just always been there.
Don't cry because it's over, Smile because it happened.
