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 Post subject: heartbreaking decision
PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2018 10:59 am 
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my half sister has been planning Gianna's baptism. Its held every other sunday and she mentioned different dates. one was May 13th and I said that's mothers day. said she knows but its already been 9 months and she didn't want to go into June but it's still in the planning stages.

Well, we got the text, its May 13th. She is so excited, texting me smiles, i just told her i'd mark the calendar. Mothers Day is a very hard day for me. Seeing the evil one on that day is just too much. I know i shouldn't take this out on my sister but i don't know if i could do it. I don't know if i should just go to church and skip lunch, go and leave if I can't deal with it or skip everything. I know i won't be able to hide my feelings and that wont be good for anyone. I could put aside the crap she's done to me but I won't make nice on mothers day, not to the woman who helped destroy my mom (my dad helped).

Kenny said we'll do whatever I want. My full sister Lori usually works mothers day but she's off this year and is also conflicted. She may go alone or bring the boys, BIL won't go. she hasn't even seen Gianna yet. she's lucky, evil one doesn't talk to her :) Lori said she will do what i do. I'm sure my brother wont even be invited, another lucky one.

This is going to eat at me for the next 4 weeks, there is no winner here.

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2018 11:52 am 
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Oh man. I'm sorry you're dealing with this Linda. You love little Gianna though, as well as your sister, and like you said - your sister has nothing to do w/ the ill feelings toward the evil one. Maybe Mother's day can now turn into a happy day for you knowing that your special niece was baptized that day. I hope you'll put your feelings aside and at least attend the service; if not all of it. ((HUGS))

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2018 11:53 am 
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Sorry Linda. That’s a tough one and uncomfortable. If you do go maybe go with Lori as a team and hope the evil one won’t bother you. Can she tell her mother that she wants you guys there and to just leave you alone?

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2018 11:55 am 
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Geez, Linda, I thought you were going to say you’re not coming down. Don’t scare me like that :shock:

As for the family crap, IMO, skip it

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2018 12:37 pm 
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That is a tough choice, your sister knows how you feel about her mother so surely she will understand if you don't go, but as this is about Gianna I personally would at least go to the baptizing if nothing else.
Don't let it eat at you, whatever you decide it will be the right thing for you & don't let anyone else try to make you do something you don't feel comfortable with.

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2018 1:05 pm 
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I think I would just go to the church baptism ceremony as well. Don't get there too early and leave when it is over.

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2018 2:28 pm 
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DonnaLee wrote:
Oh man. I'm sorry you're dealing with this Linda. You love little Gianna though, as well as your sister, and like you said - your sister has nothing to do w/ the ill feelings toward the evil one. Maybe Mother's day can now turn into a happy day for you knowing that your special niece was baptized that day. I hope you'll put your feelings aside and at least attend the service; if not all of it. ((HUGS))


Agree. Gianna is special to you and her baptism is her special day. Don't let an old witch take sharing that special day away from you. Regarding the "evil one" just remember what goes around comes around.

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2018 4:53 pm 
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This is a tough one. I read your post earlier and have thought about it on and off all day.

Gianna is special to you. Your Mom is as well. And I know you love your sisters too.

I think the "happy" medium is attending the baptism at the church for Gianna, but want to say that it's okay to not be beholden to anyone here. You're entitled to spend that day in any way you want, and if your sister loves and respects you, she'll understand if you choose not to attend because of her Mom. Surely she knows the history here?

Best wishes on whatever you decide to do Linda.

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2018 6:29 pm 
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You can’t let the witch win by you not going IMNSHO :wink:
Go and say nothing to her and if she starts with you tell her to F off sweetly.
You should have done it before since she has been such a DB, I know I would have.
Your sister loves you and will understand.

Life is too short to let someone else get in the way of your relationship with your sister and your beautiful niece!


I will go to my nieces graduation on June 3rd and ignore my brothers bitch of an xwife.
If she starts with me I’ll tell her to F off and my 18 year old niece will totally understand.

Good luck in your decision and remember you can’t not have a redo.
Hugs!


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2018 7:02 pm 
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Nicely stated Kat....I agree! Linda, please don't give this woman the power over you!! Go to the baptism and the party ...you will be glad you did!

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2018 7:05 pm 
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Yup, go and take the high road. You can totally snub the bitch. And leave with your head high.

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2018 7:17 pm 
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Go with your sister Lori and after you two can spend some alone time reminiscing about your own mom.

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2018 8:47 am 
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I agree about going with Lori. {{HUGS}} situations like these are always hard.

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2018 9:05 am 
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I agree with Donna, Kat, Linda, etc. You can't let her win. You do what is best for you. I love the idea creating happy memories on Mother's Day. Thinking of you and hope you don't waste too much time being conflicted by this. Life is too short for sure! All the best!

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 28, 2018 8:40 pm 
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If it were me, I'd just go to the church service. But that's me. I'm not a religious person at all. That being said, will the baby know who was there and who wasn't? No, she won't.
It's painfully obvious that you are hurting very much. You should not be stressing over this.
Now, when the baby is a bit older and knows who you are, that's when it counts.
IMHO, baptisms really don't need to be a big celebration. It's really just getting your child accepted by Christ, which is a private matter. A big party afterwards is a shifty way of soliciting money from people. Again, only my opinion.

Iggy and I don't have children. His sisters however had 6 between them. And those six kids ended up procreating 14 times. Ig's mom would get furious at all of them expecting us to fork over at least $50 each time something came up. I.E. baptism, first communion, birthdays, etc. She would say that they had a lot of nerve expecting it from us because they all knew we would never receive anything like that in return and she thought that we should never feel obligated. I remember that conversation every time one of the kids has something like that. Ignore us all year but invite us to the "money" events (and trust me when I tell you, when I see pictures on FB of the kid's games or other fun stuff they do and everyone is there but us because no one told us about them, I'm extremely hurt). I don't know your exact situation but it sure as hell made me feel hurt and used. We now only give small gifts at Xmas and no other time.

Sorry for the rant but you asked for opinions. Didn't you? :? :wink:

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